like a slap in the face

May I bring to your attention a chat log from 1999.
In it, Alexis is trying to get ryan's attention
by going on about some guy she's been sorta dating.
By putting their correspondence online. ryan is 
either deeply confused. Or retarded. I don't remember
this. 

capt.: i said i was gonna put all our e-mails online...
capt.: i don't lie.
setraytojerry: ooo....this should go in a book of some
sort.....an anthology....
setraytojerry: no...no...
setraytojerry: ryan's not really typing.
setraytojerry: and ryan reallly likes the 3rd person
lately.
capt.: yea... well... i dunno. they're nice. i was
gonna save them until i had more, but we're about done
e-mailing.
capt.: now he calls me 4 times a day...
capt.: i should tape those phone calls and put
streaming realaudio online.
setraytojerry: hey hey heyyyy...i almost got the fat
song on tape that time...but on the tape i just
recently found i got like....right after...so i missed
it.
capt.: lol...
capt.: damn
capt.: DAMN
setraytojerry: i was playing the tape.....then i hear
talking come out of nowhere for 5 seconds...then it
cuts back into the song.
setraytojerry: and i was like "THATS what the tape
was...."
capt.: i should upload that one IM conversation i had
with him that i saved...
capt.: i want you ryan.
setraytojerry: alrighty.
setraytojerry: "I went to go see the movie Dogma" "I
might be moving out of my parrents house again" "i
just hate people knowing what im doing at all times."
"Pictures of me that arent dorky dont really exsist."
capt.: heh...
capt. uploads really.html
setraytojerry: you heard it here folks...Ryan from
another dimension...
johnnygoat: lmao
johnnygoat: roflmao..
capt.: roflmfao
capt.: oh lord... i cant stop laughing.
capt.: except this ryan is 24 and dates alexis.
setraytojerry: yeah....but maybe ryan is 24 and dates
alexis in this crazy-ass californian west time zone
land you got going there...for all we know he could be
ryan who went back to 1985, gave somebody a book or
something, and ended up there 9 years into the future.
capt.: whoooo
capt.: just like back tot he future..
setraytojerry: yes..but...yes...JUST like back to the future...
capt.: lmao...
capt.: ryan you gotta go BACK to the future and give yourself
that book, yo.

And then nine years later I apparently did.